Before I go any further along my own convoluted and surprising path o’ dating, I want to address this issue aka “my thing with names” so you won’t get all confused as we continue on together and everyone is called something else.
The short answer to both title questions is: “I have no idea.” Sorry.
The longer answer would be that I’m a lifelong nicknamer – which is why I have Boo tattooed on my arm - and apparently not the only one…
I nickname many of my close friends, though never the ones that would loathe their names being butchered…Allison… I also nickname people that I’m not particularly close to but their personality just begs to be characterized by a more relevant moniker. And once it’s done, everyone kind of just falls in line and uses the new name because…I don’t know.
Is it a reflection of how I feel about that person when I add a “y” and they become Melly or Eriny or my beloved Nicolee? Uh, yes. Can anyone else claim to have christened Half Pint? Uh, no… Fyi, she recently complained about my habit so I had to say: “But you love YOUR nickname…” at which point she made her cute “oh…THAT” face and admitted: “Yeah, I do…”
Is it an issue about intimacy or power? Or am I just creating and populating my own cosy world with a rollcall of peeps that are mine because I’ve renamed them? Pretty much…but in a good not creepy, Stepford friend way. Really.
Yet when I extend it to the men I’ve met/ dated and sometimes nicknamed, it transforms into a whole other psychological wtf. Then it’s suddenly Susan not a matter of why do I it but why do they LET me? Ha! But you know what? They do.
BMX was the first, oc and always, which he acquired from his profile. I didn’t ever really call him that in person, just by email and text, but he never objected.
Who else have I infamously ( at least among my gfs ) nicknamed? Looking back, not that many, really. I mean, I added “y”s several times, oc, making man names into boys. It turns out I have a thing for the name Danny…and I have the tales about Danny 1.0 and 2.0 to prove it.
Then there was “Ian the Indian” who wasn’t Indian…or named Ian…but to this day I think of him as that. It was his profile name…not my bad.
And it’s difficult to remember that Daniel’s “real” name is NOT Daniel… hello! I named him because he reminded me of Daniel Craig. Daniel’s also the only guy, so far, to nickname me back but I really don’t like what he gave me so I won’t be sharing it any time soon…fyi.
I named my latest false intimacy guy Pup because when I sent a pic of him holding a dog for Nicolee to check out...which, fyi, I often do…shhhhh... she called him “Puppy Boy” so when I wrote to him after that, I said: “Dear Puppy Boy, may I call you Pup for short?” and that was that. He actually texted: “I don’t know why I like it when you call me that but I do.” SEE?
I don’t know what it is but once I nickname someone, I can’t think of them in any other way…no matter how RIDICULOUS it is. Final case in point: Spanky. Yes. I have dated a guy that I nicknamed SPANKY. Oc, it came from a very “organic” place ie our first messages and I will be going into EXSQUISITE detail about him much later but for now just know he also texted me: “ I hate that name but it still makes me smile…” Yeah…TF, right?
But I’ve come to realize that it’s not just the guy that becomes unique once I rename them; I also then become the girl who calls them that. The only girl. Whether they stay or they go, with them will be the memory of the weirdo ( BMX’s other nickname from me…seriously ) who called them something no one else did. I made each of them mine…if only for a moment. I guess that was the point. Hmmmm….