Tip the Groupies Taking Off Their Clothes

In an interesting aside re: how I recovered from my major BMX fender bender, I have to advocate music as a primary tool - not just for maudlin recrimination and a sobbing, sopping self but also as an incredible mood elevator on the rocky road to healing.

I try not to impose my bizarre, eclectic taste in music on anyone I’m not living with but I do have songs on constantly and on repeat while I work or cook. It helps me think without being overly distracting. And when I’m in a particular mood, I’ll choose particular music to either heighten it or to try and reverse it. Oh. And I sing. OUT LOUD. Allofthetime. In the shower and out. And btw, not really a singer. Hello. But I fucking LOVE it and I always have and it's so good for you!

So. When I was being severely BMXed, I was of course wallowing and Adele-ing myself stupid but in brief moments of clarity, I would try and reach for a musical floaty ring of happiness when suddenly Susan I was given a gift from heaven/ my son, Boo.

Fyi, I never used to listen to a whole lot of current music. Back in the day ie when I originally wrote this post, EVERY a.m. I listened to my “blast from the past” playlist which includes…well, I’m too embarrassed to say. However, what new and groovy stuff I did listen to I got from Glee ( I'd source the original from Youtube and yes, that’s embarrassing as well but not as bad as my a.m. playlist. Still ) and my kid when he lived at home.

Anyhoo. One day, I heard this AWESOME club music coming out from his room and I had to know what it was. He gave me the name then I added it to my “fun fun fun”playlist which was also on constant rotation. #epic

And do you know what? Every time I felt like shit about BMX - and for two straight months, that was every day - and wanted to come out of that heavy, morose energy just for a few minutes, I would put this song on and it worked. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME. It would shift MY energy and I would smile and feel so uplifted. Honestly, it was completely weird and yet completely reliable. In fact, to this day, I hear this song and I put it on FULL BLAST and sing along and I feel fanfuckingtastic. It’s ridonkulous!

So while I’m not saying you have to listen to and love and download and listen to on repeat this particular song just because it consistently rocked my world, I AM suggesting you find your own dating anthem and use it. There's some upbeat arrangement of voice and instruments and lyrics out there with your name on it, saying: " Pick me! Pick me! I'll distract you from that fucking idiot for a glorious 3+ minutes! Pick me!" Guaranfuckingteed. Just do it.

It didn’t hit me until much later why my song was so perfect for me, a 50 year old divorced Asian woman “dating” but ineffectually; I realized it’s about a fucking STUD struttin’ his STUFF and totally KILLING it! He’s my alter ego! If I were a mo fo, arrogant millionaire black rapper!

Came to party till I came no more
Celebrate 'cause that's all I know
Tip the groupies taking off their clothes
Grand finale like Superbowl

Go hard I run the show
That's right while I got money to blow
More light more ice when I walk in the door
No hype I do it big all over the globe

Omg! I wish! HA!

Honestly, I want everyone who's been BMXed or hit and runned to know my secret. I’d like to teach the world to sing and along the way, heal that heart and help you move the fuck along. I’m just saying.

What's your darkest music secret? The song you use to pull yourself out of pity party boy hell when nothing else works? Is it Glinda good or Dexter dark? And how many times in a row do you have to listen to it? Tell the truth. We all fucking do it.

Now, without further ado: here's Flo Rida and “Club Can’t Handle Me” featuring David Guetta. Thank you for this awesome video and this awesome pic, Mr. Rida, btw.