I asked these questions and received these answers. Verbatim. It’s a small sample...ummm two....so take them as you will. Eyeball rolling is definitely optional.
WHAT KIND OF MESSAGES DO YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE/ ARE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER?
“I like short and flirty…conversation starters. I don’t respond if I get a sense they’re trying too hard/ too needy. Women in my wheelhouse I always end with a question of some sort to engage in further discussion." B
“ I like to read a positive and friendly message from someone who’s clearly read my profile and who expresses somewhat similar interests. Too complimentary can scare me a little." Daniel
For the record, when I asked him this question in person, his reply was: “Ones with nice boobs.” Ha!
DO YOU LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE PICTURE AND DECIDE WHETHER TO EVEN READ THE MESSAGEIE DO YOU EVER OR ALWAYS JUST LOOK AND DELETE?
“I read the note, look at the pics twice, check out the profile, look at the pics one more time, respond then look at the pics again.” B
“Frequently I do now. I still feel like a dick though. I get 10+ contacts a day. For the first several months I would almost always read at least something . Now I’ll frequently delete after only looking at a photo." Daniel
WHAT’S THE BEST MESSAGE YOU’VE EVER GOTTEN?
“ ‘Do you think you can handle me?’ which was playful and fun and I liked that. However, guys aren’t that sentimental. We don’t remember messages a day later. " B
“I haven’t received it yet. I’m still waiting." Daniel
I texted back: “Maybe you missed it in the fucking avalanche you receive every day.”
WHAT’S THE WORST?
“Talking to your brother is kind of a random interest, don’t you think?” B
“Of course you think I’m intriguing…because you’re so boring!” Anyone who seems too vain and self centered is generally not appealing... unless I’m feeling super horny and she’s smoking hot ( insert ridiculous emoticon here ) Daniel
WHAT’S TOO SHORT?
“Extra points if they make me laugh/ smile in a hurry.” B
“ A wink or a favourite. It needs to be a message. Other than that, short is okay.” Daniel
WHAT’S TOO LONG?
“More than one or two paragraphs freaks me out a little. The objective is to get conversational – pinging back and forth and leading to a meeting.” B
“I don’t think I’ve gotten any messages that are too long. Read several profiles that are too long though.” Daniel
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE TO WOMEN WHO WANT TO MESSAGE MEN ONLINE?
“Guys love to get messages and will not read into everything ( they’re not as smart or observant as most women ) so just hit send.” B
“Read the profile and write a message. Don’t be too afraid to reveal a little something unique about yourself but don’t be too intense too early. Be creative. After the initial message, make sure to allow relationship to evolve. And always include a question." Daniel
ANY OTHER “MESSAGES FROM WOMEN” RELATED COMMENTS? PET PEEVES?
“If there’s a delay in response and then a non specific, not related to me, my profile, my last communication message, then I suspect I’ve been cut and pasted and I move on.” B
“Remember, people want to be happy and have fun. Even you - insert the nickname I really dislike - ” Daniel
A direct message to me. Nice.
Was this informative, helpful, revealing? I don’t know but it was from two POF.com veterans from the other team so it’s at least illuminating. Real men. Real answers. Only from Date with Lucy…HA!
Ridiculous? Surprising? Or not one bit? Tell me what you think about the other team’s thoughts.