Soooo….you’ve been messaging with someone online and you kind of like him and he kind of likes you and you suddenly Susan agree to go out. GACK! And if it’s your first “first date”/ meeting all the more reason to celebrate/ freak the fuck out!
But you know what? Every journey begins with the first step so this journey begins with, most likely, the ubiquitous coffee meet and greet. Nothing original but also nothing wrong with that, girlies and I’ll tell you why: quick exit strategy.
The first thing you want to know is you can always extend coffee if you’ve got chemistry but I find you feel obligated to suffer longer when they’re shelling out for cocktails. Or at least I did. Curse my good manners and my innate inability to drain that only drink and cut it short: “Wow! It’s been a slice ( insert name here ) but I’m obviously not your type. Thanks and best of luck!”. And bam! Home for “Homeland”.
If you can do something active instead like the ubiquitous walk, even better. Just make sure it can be short so you’re not stuck walking back FOREVER if it becomes awkward. Does this sound like I’m speaking from experience? Sigh. Oc, I am. I’ve also combined the “drinks gone badly” with both the silent AND incessant chatter versions of a “never-happening-again” situation up a very long hill. Fm. Oh for the love of GOD, girls…do as I SAY.
So choose where you meet as wisely as who you meet ie save the scenery for date two and think of proximity to parking or public transportation for an easy in and out. Expect the best. Plan for the worst. I’m just saying.
Oc, some first dates are actually date dates as in drinks and dinner. These can be amaaazing fun if you’re with someone you want to be having dinner and drinks with. I finally experienced it, as I mentioned, only six months after being BMXed!
In any case, whatever the first date scenario, you next have to know: WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR??
I’m a bit of a clothes idiot, I must say, and my inability to accessorize is truly sad. That being said, I can still tell you what you want to wear on any first date must be something in which you feel both comfortable and cute. For coffee or a walk, be casual, obviously, but also look like you made an effort. Especially if HE’S cute. Remember girlies: men are primarily visual. Keep making that shit work for you.
However, also don’t overdress. Technically, it is your “first date” but it’s really a first meeting and it’s easier to let someone down if you’re not looking smoking hot as well to rub it in. #bekind
If it is a date date though, I go by the “how much do I think I like him already/ how much do I want him to like ME?” rule of dressing ie the more desirable he is, the more desirable I want to look for him. Hello. If, like me at the beginning of my POF road, you haven’t gone out in decades, then stock up on date clothes and date purses and date shoes. Do it. As they say: dress for the part.
Then it’s onto: who pays? Well, I’ve always felt, rightly or wrongly, that if a guy asks you out, he should treat. I think this is a generational thing because my younger gfs don’t feel like this; in fact, they feel guilty if they don’t split the bill. That’s weird to me. I know - because I’m ancient.
What I’ve found was unless you’re dating much someone younger than you, almost all guys 35+ years old will just automatically reach for the bill.
Finally, how does the date end? With a sad look of condemnation on his part? Sigh. With an awkward hug after an awkward “ thank you but no thank you”? Sigh again. With a promising hug and perhaps a kiss, promising more to come? Or even jumping right to the naked bits part??
It could be any of those or something else entirely. It’s YOUR first date. It'll either happen organically or you'll decide. However it happens, good, bad or WORSE! when you get to the end of it, it will only mean one thing: You fucking SURVIVED. Yay, you!
And trust me, just surviving was all I did right after BMX hence my motto now: If can I live through it, I can blog about it. Yay, me!
Any first first date stories y'all wanna share? What did you wear? Where did you go? And how barfy were you before and after?? Do tell.