I have to come right out and say it: I love a confident man. Who doesn’t?
Not arrogant. Not self important. NOT a fucking douche. He’s just a man who knows who he is and what he wants and if the attraction is mutual, then I find that hella hot. Like SMOKING. And confidence seems to be such a sturdy characteristic, making you both bullet proof and incredibly desirable, am I right #kaboom
Why do I gravitate toward the sunniness of certainty? Well, I’ve been told by a past connection that I come across as a very self-confident woman who would quote scare away most men unquote – sigh - but in reality, I’m often as secure and balanced as a three legged cat. I am independent and I am strong and I don’t need a man to take care of me and at the same time, feeling sure of myself and not giving a fuck about what anyone else thinks? Def not my default setting. That is why, when I meet a man who can fully be himself without effort, I'm totally drawn to whom I feel is really my emotional opposite. Does that make sense? Also, when a confident man wants you, there is NO doubt, sister and yes, again…soooo sexy. Right?
But what is the true definition of “confident”?
Apparently, men and women alike are drawn to the perception of self-assurance; I am not alone in being attracted to the luminosity with which confidence gilds a body. It then stands to reason that I’ve also got company in the “projecting but not inhabiting” energy thing as well. I mean, let’s be real. If I can seem so incredibly daunting to MOST MEN…thank you again, Daniel…and I am at heart a delicate flower of uncertain self, then how much of a show are the rest of you putting on? And at the end of a day or a date, how much does that matter?
At the end of the day when it’s just you and him and a relationship, you can totally be “fake it ‘til you make it” or absolutely know what you think you know but either way, complete certainty about ANYTHING is a complete illusion, dude. So then can you be confident in your ability to not be sure, not be correct, not be successful – all the traditional definitions? Can you allow all that is not attractive, glowing and positive to come out into the light and be seen? How much self confidence does it take to do THAT?
For me then, a confident man is one who has all the outer characteristics to draw me into his hot hot web and then when I’m there all helpless and at his manly mercy, he’s the guy who can be vulnerable and show his soft underbelly. He’s the guy who knows himself and can share himself…ALL the parts, whether they’re shining or not. I find the only thing sexier than a confident man is a man who lets the armor of his confidence fall away for you.
How do you feel about that guy? Would you want one of those for your own as well? Or is that a no brainer? Date with Lucy would like to know. Oc.