I gotta say, it’s been an odd life since I began blogging about dating while still dating. I mean, it’s not like I’m trying to be a neutral third party observer; I am Lucy and Lucy is me, just me in HD. My brights are brighter, my whites whiter and my emotions, no matter the original size, must be able to fit into a post with as many exquisite and devastating details as possible. It’s like I’m my own Truman Show.
Does this hinder the already unwieldy job of trying to meet men? I mean, I’m a 52 year old woman online; let’s face it, I’m the equivalent of a roast pig at the POF vegan buffet. Really then, it’s like asking was the weather hindering the Hindenburg that day. Amiright?
In fact, it feels like I’ve been recording my sporadic love life for so long, I can’t remember what it was like to NOT write about it. I didn’t decide until about eight months in to start the blog but pretty much everyone and everything was still as fresh as a superficial head wound – lots of blood but little real damage. No need for triage, just a lot of post trauma sighing, head shaking and wincing, which is, let’s face it, how I roll anyway.
In the beginning, I was all concerned about how I would tell any potential beaus about my secret identity. It’s not something I could slide into my profile nor was it appropriate first date conversation. I also have the unfortunate inability to lie well. Even if you have no idea I’m not telling you something, I HAVE TO TELL YOU anyway. Yeah. I’m basically from the Get Smart school of spies. However, it was never really an issue, mostly because there were so few guys in the position where I felt I needed to tell them anything. #sigh I have to say, not being a strong dater sucks IRL but it does mean I have blog material up the yin yang and a clear path to share all with no one to get in the way. Go, me!
The first time I came across a real conflict of interest was when Lucy had just gone live and I met Christopher, my last guy. While I blog chronologically and, after a year+ live and dozens of posts, I’m only just entering my first summer o’ POF love, I facebook and tweet about current dates or the lack thereof. Of course, Christopher featured prominently in both for weeks before I realized we were going to keep seeing each other. I then had to backtrack and delete anything and everything that could be taken the wrong way and/ or hurt his feelings, including the other guy I was seeing! Now that he’s GWTW, I’m sorry I don’t have those first posts but I’m not sorry I erred on the side of caution.
Other than that, being Lucy is often a lot more fucking fun than the actual dating. Ha! I LOVE writing, always have, always will, and apparently I’m born to tweet and post as well, a completely useless 21st century value add, fyi. Don’t get me wrong, I’m barely computer literate but I’m also no Laura Ingalls with old school butter churning ability, either. Come the zombie apocalypse, it means I’m fucking toast before I can finish slowly typing #THEWALKINGDEAD but other than that, all win!
It definitely makes dating less “woe is me... sob” and more “great material!” no matter how lame the message or long in all the wrong ways the date. Having just gone back onto POF after a year dark, I recently noted on Twitter:
It’s a small victory but celebrating the every day is who I am. That and the physical twitches I mentioned earlier. And the lack of pioneer skills. Yet I’m still single. What?
There’s only been once when I had to ask myself: live and blog or live TO blog? It was when the self confessed 26 year old VIRGIN contacted me on Cougar Life. Yup. He was handsome and wrote that he’d just been TOO BUSY with school and setting up his own company TO HAVE SEX. ??? Now he was looking for someone older to pop his cherry. APPARENTLY.
I know you’re thinking what I was thinking: could there be a hinkier back story? We messaged for a bit and he wanted my “advice” but I said I would only dispense it in person. He didn’t ask me out so I stopped replying to him. #lifestooshortdude However, before I cut him loose, I did briefly consider whether I should explore further, taking one for the Lucy team ie me, myself and I because THAT would be a post and a half…
Ultimately though, I chose integrity over material. Ish. Also, it was bad enough having naked interviews with young guys who barely had a clue and had had practice! Why would I want a virgin? Why would ANYONE want a virgin? All I wanted to do when I was a virgin was to NOT be a virgin; then I became a born again virgin. Boy was I bitter. So yeah no to more virgin energy.
Now I’m back online dating as me while documenting it all as Lucy. I want to say it’s sometimes disorienting and disconcerting but I’d be lying. Badly. As I do. It’s actually really clarifying, empowering and totally kickass. If you’re a good guy, I’ll be noting that. If you cut and paste me twice without spell check either time! or tell me: “I read your profile. It’s…interesting” I WILL be sharing that shit too. Fyi. Now THAT’S interesting.
What do you think about my whole “date, document and repeat” cycle? Could you do it? Would you do it? Are you a Lucy too? Spill! Because I'm dying to know, y'all.