Now we’re at the beginning of my one and only POF summer o’ love which is so irritating because who doesn’t look better dating tanned, flip flopped and tiny dressed? Hello. I was hanging out with B and having FUN for the first time since I went on the fucking site, literally, but oc my profile was still up and I was still active. OC. And that’s when Daniel messaged me.
Now, I’m not sure how I’m going to get into all that happened to me with and because of him so it’s probably going to be a few posts built around specific topics or, as I like to think of them, Lucy’s power points of love/ pretty much what not to do and how not to do it. You’re welcome.
Anyway! Daniel was very attractive and a Cancer like BMX; I still had a soft spot for them at that time. Must have been that whole “dropped on the fucking head by love” trauma. We began emailing back and forth, just idle chatting for the first few days, nothing more than yada yada yada. I remember it was a weekend and B was away. I told Daniel I LOVED Sandy Bullock, hard, and he sent me a pic asking: don’t you think she’s looking too much like Michael Jackson for her own good?? Hahaha…NO. But funny.
Then it was Monday and not just any Monday but the Monday after Boo, my favourite and only kid in the entire world, had moved his bed out and I realized that he was GFG – gone for good. I woke up, it hit me and I was literally crying in my coffee all morning, texting all of my gfs for solace, when Daniel messaged me first thing. Back then, I had no boundaries or self control; every time I got a message I would read and reply immediately. Or not. I liked him already so instead of just giving it a pass for a few hours until I got a grip, I messaged back. Lord. I just CARED so much then. Sigh.
He asked me how I was and I told him – briefly but truthfully. Honestly, I so suck at lying that when I’m in a state, there’s just no filter or ability to shut down any emotional goings on. If I’m crying on the inside, everyone on the outside takes a gander at my “poker face” and flees, let’s put it that way. #lookjustrun.
However, when I told Daniel how gutted I was about Boo, he was really so sweet. I tried to drop it then but he kept asking so we spent the whole morning online together talking about mamas’ boys and getting to know each other a little better in a real way. His kindness and empathy was so unexpected and incredibly appreciated at a pivotal and bittersweet moment in my life. And he had NO CHILDREN. To this day, whenever I think back to Boo leaving home, Daniel is inextricably present in a lovely way.
The thing is when I told Allison about it, she told me I wasn’t to talk about Boo like that right away - dating etiquette 101 or something like that. Oc, that would make sense and if I’d been a SMART dater instead of my usual fly by the seat of my pants, uncensored self, I wouldn’t have. But. I did and Daniel stepped up to the plate and was there to help me over a brutal transition. However, he still hadn’t asked me out. Gah! #whatsupwiththatdude
It was day two of Boo GFG and I was still a delicate flower so then Allison told me: “Don’t reply right away. Go out and enjoy your day. Treat yourself.” I dutifully ignored Daniel’s next message, feeling hella guilty, though we’d been pretty much chatting in real time, . It literally took only SIX HOURS before I got an email saying: “Did I scare you away?” Boom! He invited me for a drink that night.
Now, mostly I pooh pooh dating rules as y’all know or I agree with them while completely doing the opposite because that’s how I roll – lopsidedly and illogically. However, in this one instance where I listened to Allison – the person I want to be when I grow up – and holy wow, look what happened. Imagine where I’d be now if I was ALWAYS that dater. Probably no longer fucking dating. Hello. The mind boggles.
I’m going to finish up this post by reiterating how shocking it was to me at that point to have met not only one but two great guys that I liked that liked me. After only SIX MONTHS. Though vastly different, they made me laugh; I was both happy and tortured at the thought of juggling and/ or having to choose between them. I went from nothing I wanted to two I did. I barely knew how to date one at a time!
Yes, it was my next FWP. Yes, I was all angsty about it. Yes, I was adorably neurotic and my training wheels were not ready to come off. At. All. But at least, thanks to Daniel, I finally had a problem worth having. Go, me!
Are you a capable multitasking dater or are you like I was...paralyzed when confronted by good fortune and choice? Jesus, it sounds even better when I put it in writing! Please share your own angst or admirable lack of here at Date with Lucy. I'll be in the back room, reading the "how to juggle" instruction book. FM.